The Number One Secret To Getting Your Ex Back (And a Strange Truth)

Hi guys, welcome to another video where I’ll
be teaching you how to get back together with your ex. I’m Brad Browning, a relationship
coach and best-selling author of The Ex Factor Guide. For more advice on reversing your breakup
and starting over with your ex, visit my website at In this video, I’m going to tell you the
single most important secret to winning back your ex. If you’re not aware of the important
tips I’m going to reveal in the next few minutes, then your chances of saving your
relationship will be next to nil. I know this because I’ve watched many of my clients
ignore this advice and, predictably, throw away any shot at a second chance with their
ex. Don’t do that… just trust that the techniques I’m going to share in this video
WILL work, and WILL give you the best possible chance of getting back together. So, what’s the #1 secret to getting your
ex back? What is it that separates those who fail and those who actually do build a new,
healthier relationship with their ex? The secret to winning your ex back is to fundamentally
change the way your ex thinks about you and your relationship. To re-wire their brain
so that when he or she thinks about you, they think about your positive qualities, how much
fun you are, how many great memories you’ve shared, and how great life is when you’re
by their side. This is crucial because right now, if you’ve
been dumped or if your ex isn’t interested in giving the relationship another shot, then
he or she almost certainly thinks of you in a negative light. Even if your breakup was
totally amicable and he or she has told you they still love you, the reality is that your
ex just doesn’t think of you as someone they want to be with. If your breakup was
ugly or you’ve made a lot of mistakes since the breakup, it’s more likely that he or
she sees you as “that desperate loser ex”. If you want him or her to take you back, then
you need to change that… you need to make sure that they think about you in the same
way they did when your relationship began, when things were amazing and you were madly
in love. If your ex were to feel that way about you again — if thinking about you brought
a smile to their face and sent a surge of attraction through their body — then he or
she wouldn’t even think twice about getting back together! So, really, the key to winning back your ex
is to re-wire their subconscious perception of you. You want them to feel like they NEED
you in their life, and stimulate the kind of strong emotions and feelings of attraction
that will overpower logic or reasoning. If you do this properly, then all the reasons
your ex has given you for the breakup will become meaningless or be forgotten completely.
We humans are emotional creatures and we’re slaves to our sexual and emotional desires…
so if you can stimulate those feelings in the back of your ex’s mind, then he or she
will come crawling back to you asking for another chance. I know what you’re thinking at this point…
you’re thinking, “Brad, what’s with all this psychobabble? How does it actually
help me get my ex back?” That’s a fair question, to be honest…
but if you think about it, what most people in your situation do is actually the complete
opposite of what I just described. Most people — and I can’t blame them, because it seems
perfectly logical — try to convince their ex to take them back. They beg, plead, or
just generally reach out to their ex and attempt to do things that they think will change their
ex’s mind about the breakup. Unfortunately, this never works. In fact,
most of the time, any attempts to talk with your ex after the breakup will harm your chances
and drive him or her even further away. Begging, pleading, apologizing, bribing… It is absolutely
awful because all it does is re-enforce that image in the back of your ex’s mind – the
one that makes them think of you in a negative light, as someone whom they wouldn’t be
their romantic partner and isn’t what they want in a boyfriend or girlfriend. Perhaps the worst example of this is those
“serious talks” that many couples have in the days and weeks after their breakup.
You know what I’m talking about… you and your ex have a heart-to-heart convo, hash
out all the problems and issues that plagued your relationship, and go in circles without
ever really making any progress. This type of talk with your ex is the absolute LAST
THING you need if you want to get back together… it simply reminds them of the reasons for
the breakup and brings the resentment, anger, and other negative emotions back to the top
of their mind. If you’re going to take my word on just
one thing, it’s that this is the wrong way to go about reversing a breakup. “Serious
talks,” trying to convince your ex that you’ll change if they’ll give you another
chance, apologizing over and over… it doesn’t generate any of the strong feelings of attraction
that will overpower their logical decision to break up. So, forget about that stuff,
and ignore anyone who tells you that you need to talk with your ex or open your heart to
them in order to get them back. It’s complete nonsense, and I know this from many years
of coaching clients in situations exactly like yours. Those who try to go this route
almost always crash and burn. By now, I think you get the point. Your ex
has made his or her decision, and you can’t say anything to change their mind. Any active
attempts to reach out to your ex, especially in the first few weeks, will usually end up
doing more harm than good. In order to fundamentally re-wire your ex’s feelings for you and go
back to the days where he or she wanted to spend every waking moment with you, you have
to use the strategies I share in my Ex Factor guide. There are actually a number of things
you can do right now, even if it’s only been an hour since the breakup, to begin subtly
shifting your ex’s feelings and perception of you. Obviously since I developed an entire program
to cover this topic, I can only scratch the surface in this video… for more on using
these psychological techniques, watch the free full-length video on my website,
You can sign up for my program with no risk, by the way… I offer a 60-day money back
guarantee so if you’re on the fence, you can stop worrying and sign up risk-free. OK, let’s talk briefly about some of the
easiest ways to start changing your ex’s feelings for you.. Don’t contact them. At all. I’ve covered
this in depth in other videos and in my program, so for this video I’ll just say this: not
talking to your ex at all for a period of time after the breakup can, on its own, make
your ex change his or her mind… sometimes even enough that they call you out of the
blue and ask to get back together. It’s because you’re suddenly disappearing after
many months or years of daily contact… humans are creatures of habit, and sudden changes
to daily routines are a huge shock that we don’t handle well. So when you disappear
suddenly — rather than keeping in touch or “being friends”, which allows your ex
to gradually get used to life without you — you’re essentially shocking them into
missing you like mad. There’s many other benefits to this strategy, but suffice to
say it works and you should employ this technique ASAP if you haven’t already. Pretend like you’re totally unaffected by
the breakup and moving on to bigger and better things. Do you want to be in a relationship
with someone who sits at home alone crying every night, or someone who is out having
fun and enjoying life? Does knowing someone is heartbroken and struggling to cope with
the idea of being single make them more attractive? Of course not. We all want to surround ourselves
with awesome people living awesome lives, and your ex is no different. Show him or her
— by not being emotional about the breakup, and by going out and living life to the fullest
as soon as possible — that you’re happily moving on to better things and won’t have
any problem replacing your ex with someone else if they don’t smarten up and take you
back. Send your ex subtle reminders of positive
memories and happy times you shared together. This is a bit more complicated because you
have to know what to say to your ex when you talk with them, or else you’ll just make
matters worse… but if you know what to say and when to say it, you can force your ex
to re-live positive memories and generate feelings of nostalgia that will make them
long for the happy days you were together. Please visit my website,,
and watch the video on there before you try to use this technique… I don’t want anyone
watching this to get it wrong and shoot themselves in the foot. I’ve also got a ton of examples
in my Ex Factor program, so you can use those techniques without worrying about screwing
it up because I know for a fact that they work every single time. Use jealousy to your advantage. This can be
tough for some people, because you don’t always feel like dating someone new right
after a breakup. But it’s a very effective tactic if you use it properly, because your
ex sees you moving on and will immediately wonder if he or she has made a mistake in
letting go of such a desirable commodity. Think about it — if you dumped someone and
then they were in a new relationship soon thereafter, or at least out dating new people
and having no trouble landing a date, wouldn’t you assume — at least subconsciously — that
they were a great catch? You don’t have to actually date anyone to make your ex jealous,
though… there are things you can do to create mystery and intrigue that will almost certainly
cause your ex to wonder what you’re doing and who you’re with. That alone generates
powerful feelings of jealousy and works like magic. And of course there are many other
things you can do to safely incite a bit of jealousy, but I can’t cover them all here
so please consider grabbing a copy of my Ex Factor Guide if you need more ideas. Be careful
with this strategy, by the way, because if your ex actually knows you’re TRYING to
make them jealous, it will backfire in a big way and do some serious damage to your chances. So, that’s four things you can do to change
your ex’s perception of you from “desperate loser ex” to “the amazing person I want
to be with forever”… it’s not always a quick process, but if you execute this technique
properly, you’ll generate enough emotion and feelings of attraction within your ex
that they will forget about the reasons for the breakup and tune out anyone who tells
them getting back together is a bad idea. Emotions, especially when it comes to love
and romantic relationships, are incredibly powerful.. powerful enough to force your ex
to ignore logic and come running back to you apologizing for the breakup and asking for
another chance. Lastly, a word of warning: you may run across
other videos or articles on this topic telling you that things like the No Contact method
are a bad idea. Most of the time, they’re doing this to be controversial and to generate
some publicity for their videos or their website. The reality is that what I’ve described
in this video is the ONLY way to get your ex back…. if you succeed just by begging
and pleading or through talk alone, then it’s almost certain that your ex was going to take
you back anyway. That’s why the actual breakup specialists like myself and a few others are
universally in agreement about this, and we see it work for clients every single day. If you want proof that my system actually
works, just spend some time reading the comments on my other YouTube videos and you’ll see
how surprised and thrilled people get when they use a technique I’ve recommended and
suddenly their ex suddenly does a 180-degree turn and suddenly seems far more interested
in talking and spending time together. I don’t mean to suggest that I have all the answers
and can fix ANY broken relationship, because that’s definitely not the case… but I
can promise that following my advice, and the advice of other people who deal with this
stuff all day every day, will give you the best possible chance of winning back your
ex. For more on my program, please visit… and if you need my personal help with your
unique or unusual situation, go to and see if I have any coaching spots available
right now and sign up for coaching if there is an open slot. Thanks so much for watching this video…
I really appreciate the support, so please like this video and subscribe to my channel
so I can keep making free advice videos like this one. I am also always interested in hearing
your feedback and answering your questions, so please leave a comment below and I promise
to try and respond as soon as I can. Until next time, good luck.. see you soon!